The things I would tell a younger me

• Don’t start smoking . . It may seem like everyone else is doing it but smoking will stay with you longer than most of those people.
• Be yourself . . I wasn’t happy with who I was until I reached my 30s, it wasn’t too late but I could have been happier earlier.
• Not everything your parents tell you is true . . They want the best for you but sometimes their opinion can make your playground smaller.
• Be respectful of others feelings . . Everyone has a personal battle and some of your actions can affect others in ways you couldn’t imagine.
• Appreciate the people close to you . . One day they won’t be there anymore and the things unsaid will haunt you.
• If you believe in something, fight for it . . If you let it slip through your fingers then chances are you didn’t care about it that much.
• ‘There’s always tomorrow’. . In most cases that’s bullshit, you’ll only keep putting it off, get it done!
• Learn to agree to disagree as early as possible . . Everyone has a different opinion on things, most aren’t worth falling out over.
• Some days you’ll feel like you’re alone, you’re not. . Talk to someone, open up and trust people. Your pride can take the day off.
• Stop shaving . . You look much better with a beard. Stop complaining about the itchy stage, man the fuck up.
• Don’t fear doctors and dentists. . They’re here to help you (and make you skint). Your health should be a main priority.
• Don’t be negative . . Stay away from negative people and energy, that shit is incredibly  contagious. Don’t be part of the chain!
• Drugs . . Do what you have to do, just be safe. Don’t be peer pressured into taking anything you’re not sure about. You can easily find yourself in a black hole that will chew you up and spit you out.
• Learn a new language, or musical instrument . . You will try to learn both later in life and find them both near impossible.
• Never think any idea is too big. . If you want it, go for it. If you fail then at least you have tried, that’s better than most. Shoot for the stars!
• Nothing good comes easy. . If you want something to work then you have to be willing to roll your sleeves up and work for it.
• Balance your work and personal life. . There is a fine line between the two and it can tip either way. Do you work to live? Or live to work?
• Be polite. . Just because a lot of people around you have no manners, doesn’t mean that you should act the same way. Two wrongs do not make a right.
• When your Grandma is ill, go see her more often. . Say the things you want to say, hold her hand, tell her you love her. Saying it to a hole in the floor isn’t quite the same.
• Research tattooists properly. . Have a good look around before you settle on a tattooist or you’ll find out halfway through your second tattoo that the tattooist line work is a little off because he has a glass eye!
• Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. . Or you’ll find that the people who befriend you or fall in love with you don’t actually know you. Don’t lie to them and don’t lie to yourself.
• Girls that like bad boys. . Don’t even bother! You might have your father’s mind and mouth but you have your mother’s heart and emotion. You will never fall under the ‘badboy’ category.  
• Don’t get too involved in others bullshit. . Be supportive but be careful or their bullshit will eventually become your bullshit. You have enough weight on your shoulders, you don’t need theirs as well.
• And finally. . Believe in yourself. Don’t put yourself down, there’s plenty of other people out there that will do that for you! Be kind to yourself, and for god sake smile more.    

No one seems to write letters any more . .

For you . .

Love, the word itself, seems too short, too minuscule, to explain its true meaning. The way this single word holds you in an alien state, a whirlwind of emotion, hand in hand with the silence of a lonesome night. Big enough to take over one’s existence, yet small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. Your biggest strength, your weakest attribute, the most powerful weapon. I’d pick you up from your dusty knees, but only to ground you when you’re too high. Knowing that a personal goal comes in the form of this word, a sucker for a happy ending. Boy meets girl, boy loves girl, hand in hand, till the last light. Sunsets into full moons, morning rain to afternoon sun. Imprints on pillows and messages on mirrors, they’re not a myth, not just a scene from a movie, they’re a life experience that comes with a choice. A choice to let go, understand, to appreciate those little things we seem to neglect. I’m lucky enough to have an existence around you, but fall short as you’re not here to fulfill my existence. At times we all bend, we buckle, but we smile, and we all live to fight the good fight for another dawn. All I’m trying to say is, you make it easier, tougher, seem longer, feel shorter, more colourful, yet still black and white.
And after all, after all of this. . . . I love you.
But you will never know, my darlin’, because the words themselves couldn’t hold the weight that you deserve, unspeakable.

Me

The Letter

Dear you,

Thinking it would be easy to say what’s on my mind, while I sink into your discomforted eyes the words seem to be lost, I need you to know that I dream of you, of us. Those type of dreams that seem to have all the answers, the problems of reality never to rise like that of the sun. Beautiful days of laughter and security encased in the fairytale life, I can breathe around you, the anger that I cause you becomes a thing of the past. These dreams keep me alive with hope; keep us on the straight and narrow. I possess the words that make you smile and swoon, the words to help you trust and believe but these words are the hardest to align. I don’t know how to be with you right now while I struggle to know who I am, but letting you go seems a worse fate. I don’t know what happens around the corner, I don’t know what happens tomorrow. I do know that I love you but is that enough for now?
If you feel you have to leave then I understand but don’t get lost out there, I know I will always be looking in case you want to be found.

Forever yours