Mitchell's Mustard Blog

September 23, 2016

The things I would tell a younger me

  • Don’t start smoking . . It may seem like everyone else is doing it but smoking will stay with you longer than most of those people.
  • Be yourself . . I wasn’t happy with who I was until I reached my 30s, it wasn’t too late but I could have been happier earlier.
  • Not everything your parents tell you is true . . They want the best for you but sometimes their opinion can make your playground smaller.
  • Be respectful of others feelings . . Everyone has a personal battle and some of your actions can affect others in ways you couldn’t imagine.
  • Appreciate the people close to you . . One day they won’t be there anymore and the things unsaid will haunt you.
  • If you believe in something, fight for it . . If you let it slip through your fingers then chances are you didn’t care about it that much.
  • ‘There’s always tomorrow’. . In most cases that’s bullshit, you’ll only keep putting it off, get it done!
  • Learn to agree to disagree as early as possible . . Everyone has a different opinion on things, most aren’t worth falling out over.
  • Some days you’ll feel like you’re alone, you’re not. . Talk to someone, open up and trust people. Your pride can take the day off.
  • Stop shaving . . You look much better with a beard. Stop complaining about the itchy stage, man the fuck up.
  • Don’t fear doctors and dentists. . They’re here to help you (and make you skint). Your health should be a main priority.
  • Don’t be negative . . Stay away from negative people and energy, that shit is incredibly  contagious. Don’t be part of the chain!
  • Drugs . . Do what you have to do, just be safe. Don’t be peer pressured into taking anything you’re not sure about. You can easily find yourself in a black hole that will chew you up and spit you out.
  • Learn a new language, or musical instrument . . You will try to learn both later in life and find them both near impossible.
  • Never think any idea is too big. . If you want it, go for it. If you fail then at least you have tried, that’s better than most. Shoot for the stars!
  • Nothing good comes easy. . If you want something to work then you have to be willing to roll your sleeves up and work for it.
  • Balance your work and personal life. . There is a fine line between the two and it can tip either way. Do you work to live? Or live to work?
  • Be polite. . Just because a lot of people around you have no manners, doesn’t mean that you should act the same way. Two wrongs do not make a right.
  • When your Grandma is ill, go see her more often. . Say the things you want to say, hold her hand, tell her you love her. Saying it to a hole in the floor isn’t quite the same.
  • Research tattooists properly. . Have a good look around before you settle on a tattooist or you’ll find out halfway through your second tattoo that the tattooist line work is a little off because he has a glass eye!
  • Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. . Or you’ll find that the people who befriend you or fall in love with you don’t actually know you. Don’t lie to them and don’t lie to yourself.
  • Girls that like bad boys. . Don’t even bother! You might have your father’s mind and mouth but you have your mother’s heart and emotion. You will never fall under the ‘badboy’ category.  
  • Don’t get too involved in others bullshit. . Be supportive but be careful or their bullshit will eventually become your bullshit. You have enough weight on your shoulders, you don’t need theirs as well.
  • And finally. . Believe in yourself. Don’t put yourself down, there’s plenty of other people out there that will do that for you! Be kind to yourself, and for god sake smile more.    

January 15, 2015

That’s You . .

Filed under: A Little Something — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — mitchellsmustard @ 5:15 pm

Pinch me because you must be my day dream, a glint in my eye, a reason to bring my dimples to the surface, that’s just you.
A completely refreshing change, wind through my hair, a hot water bottle on a winters morning, that’s all you.
A good surprise, a reason for goosebumps, a breeze on a summers day. You’re a knot in my stomach, that’s you.
The first warmth of a sunrise, an uncomfortable blush, my umbrella on a wet winters day, a good nights sleep, It must be you.
The first cup of tea in the morning, a cloudless starry night, a long warm shower, a compliment, that’s you.
A heartbeat in my throat, a prickling under my skin, one of those good thoughts to get you through the day, all you.
A gentle fear, a blooming confidence, the cause of my hair to stand on end, a reason to get carried away, to say yes, always has something to do with you.
A flirtatious smile from across the room, that moment of uncontrollable passion, the scratches across my back, that’s all you.
A moment to repair, a reason to sometimes hold my tongue with others, the occasional anger and suspense, that quiet moment, that can be you.
The unbearable frustration, the abrupt shouting followed by tearful apologies, the waltzing in, and the storming out, that could be you.
The cold feet on my legs, the contagious smile, my motivation to do things right, a reason to forget the bad things. You hold my positivity in your palms, be careful with it, because that’s you.

September 17, 2014

To Beard or not to Beard, that is the Question

Filed under: My Work — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — mitchellsmustard @ 11:56 am

Hi all my lovely followers . . .

As well as posting on here from time to time, I’ve started to guest post on a fellow Mens lifestyle WordPress blog, I haven’t yet worked out how I can link the two so please follow the link below and enjoy . .

To beard or not to beard, that is the question . .

Please leave a comment, let us know what you think, criticism will only make us stronger.

March 29, 2014

Masturbation is a sin . .

Filed under: My Work — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — mitchellsmustard @ 2:55 pm

Warning: sometimes I write like an arsehole!!

1. Rose Water

Rose tinted lenses hinder the light from pulling this almighty hangover forward, under this pale young surface resides a lapping wave of nausea, a hangover that was well worth the previous evenings entertainment. As he sat in the back of a taxi, the sun was intermittently shooting rays in his direction, playing peekaboo with the buildings as they passed. He could still smell the rose water of her love, on his clothes, his hands, and his beard. He had never in person witnessed the art of female ejaculation before, now it stained his aura, a good stain that will always hold a memory, the one you don’t wash off. It’s funny how the male mind works. He could remember that she had a cute little mole above her right nipple, and a circular birthmark on her inner thigh. But could he remember her name? ‘It may have begun with a T?’ he thought to himself. Anyway, he wanted to get home so he could have a wank before her scent wore off and his girlfriend got home.

2. Souvenir

Work was always boring on a Tuesday, he sat behind his cubicle desk wondering if anyone would notice if he had a wank. He could easily get up and walk to the office toilet down the corridor, but that meant he had to move. He considered typing Redtube into his computer and ejaculating into a tissue.
The new temp receptionist sat across from him, she hadn’t been with the company long, he watched her as she worked. At a guess she was early twenties, long brunette hair, slim athletic body. Her tits were massive, out of proportion to the rest of her body. He wondered what she would look like naked, he imagined fucking her from behind over the photocopier, as she moaned in pleasure he took photo copies of her tits for a souvenir to hang in his cubicle.
She turned and caught him staring at her, she smiled, he smiled in return and looked away. He found the motivation to move, standing up and checking that the receptionist couldn’t see his lob on through his trousers, he made his way to the office toilet.

3. Cum Judder

Sat at home, he watched another Victoria Secret catwalk he had recorded on a previous night. he wondered if these models actually wore this type of lingerie when at home with their partners. whether their partners would be bored with seeing them in lingerie by now? Something his father once told him had always stuck in his mind, “Behind every good looking girl, there’s a man bored of fucking her”. That was just another one of his fathers quick witted judgements on the world. He tried to picture his girlfriend in sexy lingerie, the style she used to wear when they first met, when she made an effort. He undone his jeans and tried to get an erection whilst thinking of his girlfriend in lingerie, what’s the time frame that’s acceptable to give up thinking of your girlfriend whilst having a wank if it’s just not getting you hard? He reached for his laptop, typed in Redtube. He watched a video of a young lesbian couple, he watched it all the way through while they took turns to top and tail until the cum judder. The judder that a female body does as she cums was what aroused him. As he was just about to cum he realised he hadn’t prepared well, he had nothing to cum into. Grabbing the closest thing to him from the coffee table, just happened to be one of his girlfriends scented candles that she used in the bathroom. After he had ejaculated into the top of the cup shaped candle he laughed to himself wondering if he should leave it and see if she noticed the next time she wanted a relaxing bath.

(To be continued . . .)

February 11, 2012

It’s a Mother Fucking Spiral

Filed under: Just a Thought — Tags: , , , , , , , — mitchellsmustard @ 11:37 pm

They say that sadness becomes easier with time, surely you feel sad for a reason and that the sadness doesn’t become easier but just slowly forgotten? Sadness will engulf you in flames and leave you with foundations to re build; it will never take everything but just enough for you to know that it can be done. Sadness causes you to take twice as long at doing everyday things, twice as much thought behind the simplest task. The urgency of anything seems to seep away, put everything on hold because the spiral has begun. From personal experience I found normal uncomplicated routines a challenge such as eating or sleeping, which in turn then made this mother fucking spiral harder to get out of. We all have our own reasons for feeling sad sometimes but we have to learn to live with this as its part of our existence, part of our inner being. Your body goes into slow motion but your brain has never worked so hard, over and over again you think about everything and nothing. When you’re sad even your music taste changes, nothing heavy but something with thought. I normally turn to acoustic melodies with male vocals, Chris Cornell to Jack Johnson. Sadness is good for you, let it engulf you, let it cause you issues with everyday life, let that spiral begin but don’t let it take over. It’s healthy to feel sad; it makes you more appreciative of the things that don’t make you sad. It’s just an emotion just like hate and love, they all have ups and downs but the important thing is you don’t give up. It’s not so much about why you feel sad but how you deal with feeling sad, this is a mother fucking spiral so grip hold and ride it through.


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