Mitchell's Mustard Blog

September 1, 2015

I’m in my 30’s, if I’m not happy with who I am now, I never will be.

Filed under: Just a Thought — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — mitchellsmustard @ 3:03 pm

‘I’m in my 30’s, if I’m not happy with who I am now, I never will be’ . . If you know me well, then there’s a high chance that you’ve heard these words come out of my mouth. I’ve always been a little different, a little bohemian. I get that from my father. It’s taken years for me to place it, an extrovert in my appearance, but introvert in new surroundings. In my 20’s, to be different, was to be judged. Especially when it comes to appearance. Growing up, I wanted to blend into the shadows, the faceless, in fear of being picked and pulled apart by those who seemed to preside. I’m not sure whether it’s now more acceptable to be yourself, which unfortunately I don’t think is true, or I’ve just grown to not care what others think. I remember a time when my confidence was lower than my heels, I’d be in a social gathering, surrounded by the local who’s who, generally an uncomfortable environment for me to be involved. I would hear someone laugh behind me and automatically think that they were talking and joking at my expense, I’d become anxious, reserved, and find that I would excuse myself from the rest of the evening. It wasn’t long after that that I’d excuse myself from the whole experience all together. The older I got, my confidence grew, to become who I wanted to be. I realised that if people wanted to have a negative opinion about me being comfortable in my own look, then . . I’d be comfortable and they can have their opinion, but that’s all it is, an opinion. I laugh it off now, ignore the comments, because negativity breeds on negativity.
Yes . . You might think I have a shit beard. Yes . . You might think I look stupid wearing skinny jeans tucked into boots. And yes . . You might think that I’m a blazer wearing wanker. But, I’m really not that bothered what you think. Full points on calling it a blazer and not a jacket though, well done.

One thing you can’t stop is that people around you will always have an opinion, and some will like to voice it. The one thing you can stop is giving a fuck what they think, you are who you are, be proud of that.

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July 1, 2015

Mirror

Filed under: A Little Something — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — mitchellsmustard @ 7:58 pm

Pale, the curving contours causing shadows and dull patches. Coloured spheres darting back and forth with a similar rhythm to a pendulum on an old washed out piano. A surface that has seen many elements, masked, but only a prevention from age, there’s no cure as the time passes away. Weathered, yet attractive. Like pebbles skimmed across the surface, leaving ripples and wrinkles of life, but unlike water, the wrinkles become more apparent with no signs of fading or drifting away. With each cycle of the sun, the lines hold firm and claim their place. Each passing he notices something different, a soft façade capable of love and emotion, but sometimes riddled with exhaustion and anguish. Depending on his frame of mind he sees beauty, positivity bringing on the attractive glow. Knowing that negativity will only swallow up the good and drag the insecurities to the surface, only for him to see but is believed all will bear witness. A state of vanity that’s stoked like coals in a raging fire, he knows that growing old gracefully is the only option. Most days he knows what he sees, but on the odd occasion he doesn’t recognise what’s before him, what looks back at him each and every day. He knows it better than most, the shape, the strengths, the weaknesses, but there are days, days that just leave him to question. Today isn’t one of those days, he might be looking older, worn, weathered, with dashes of silver, but that is what’s looking back at him. The mirror doesn’t lie, but the mind does.

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