Mitchell's Mustard Blog

February 15, 2015

To rise above my stature.

Filed under: A Little Something — Tags: , , , , , , , — mitchellsmustard @ 7:13 pm

I did something big today, I’m not talking humongous, or enormous . . . . but, big enough to make a difference. I know in the grand scheme of things it’s miniscule, a step amongst the stairs. It will only be seen as big in my eyes, that’s because it’s towards my own personal goal. I wanted to tell you about it, it feels selfish, but, I wanted to hear your voice today, I wanted you to tell me that you’re proud of me, tell me that it will all pay off, and that I should keep plugging away, because you believe in me. That’s what I wanted to hear today, but, we don’t always get what we want. I can only keep pushing on, wading through, in hopes of that day coming true. Days like this will always be bigger to me, than it will ever be to you.
You’ve always been that distant silhouette, the shadow in the corner of my eye when I lay alone, encrypted messages I receive from you in the smoke I exhale. Hearing your wisdom in the music I listen too, the meaning is always distorted behind the truth, you’re not here, you never really were.
So, I’ll keep pushing on, keep plugging away, because I know that one day you’ll show up, share this moment with me, whisper in my ear the things I need to know, the things I need to hear.
I’ll never need your approval, I don’t want you to hold my hand, walk me through this path I’ve decided to take. As always, I’d rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. But, to know you’re proud of me will always make me rise above my stature, sometimes we all need that little push.

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