Mitchell's Mustard Blog

September 18, 2011

Tears under water

Filed under: A Little Something — mitchellsmustard @ 11:35 am

Nothing strikes despair within like watching your girlfriend cry your name in fear and pain but her being just out of reach, eye watering strength doesn’t get you any closer just like a vacant prayer. It’s strange how atheists turn to a higher power in such moments like it’s one last chance. The feeling of my heart in my throat chokes down my pride,why care what people think right now because she needs me. Seeing the disbelief in her face and the reflection of life in her bulging eyes, the way her hair dances in slow motion in the water around her panicked features. Everything seems slower under water but time will never be on my side, watching bubbles of life leave the lips I kissed just minutes before we hit the water. Panic hits me as she starts to relax on the other side of the window, the window that won’t budge just like the door it’s connected to. Is it the water that’s sending her to sleep or my incompetence of not being able to do anything in this situation? From the day those three addictive words passed those now blue lips the other side of this window it was my job to protect, why did I have to drive? I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window and realise how old I look, I stir to see she has placed her hand against my reflection. Palm spread against the transparent water cell. She mouths those three addictive words like she and the water have a silent understanding, those will be your last words so better make them count. No one can see tears under water but sometimes you just know they’re there, vacant stare as her body starts to dance just like her hair and suddenly the bottom of the river becomes dark.

Panic . . . . A huge intake of air . . . . No scream . . . . Sat bolt upright . . . . Another nightmare but it’s always the same.

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